it's the start of something big. i can feel it.
part of what i'm doing in kapaa is starting a printing company. an online printing company. for my bosses.
anyone who's started anything knows that it's all about the first step. going for a run first thing in the morning (or any time of day, for that matter)- the first step, the one that gets you out the door, is the hardest. the rest is cheese. you can set to run as far as you like, provided you take that first step.
my first step in getting our printing scheme starts at getting out the door and spreading the word. i accomplished this yesterday by giving myself a pep talk. i imagined where i want this printing company to be. i pictured success. i saw myself stepping up to the success plate and hitting a home run. i hit it out of the park. the packed stands erupt in sales. people are throwing money at me as i round the bases. i'm filling orders- banners, business cards, vehicle magnets. i'm manifesting pyramids of posters and golden statues of window clings. bumper stickers are the building blocks of my dreams.
i step into the bathroom of our warehouse and give myself a good, hard stare in the mirror. i shift my stare into something maniacal.
whoa, too crazy.
i soften my eyes and look submissive.
ugh, too feeble.
how do i sell this thing? do i go in there with guns blazing? i'm firing forecasts of bottom-dollar-savings. i'm making heroes of managers as they prepare to save their bosses hundreds with the simple swipe of cost-effective printing delivered to them on the sleigh of fortune i ride.
do i slide in low-key, keep my profile subdued and sneak-attack with my savings samurai sword? i'm slashing costs silently, killing my competition with cool, easy slices. i'm quiet, like a messenger you can't help but invite in, set a fire for and drink in his wild west tales- bagging bad business and riding into sunsets which guide him from one savings duel to the next low-printing shoot-out. i whisper my conquests, not needing to over-excite my client, inviting him into my gang, as if singling him out to join me on my next great printing coup.
i settle on quiet confidence and commence my pavement pounding.
it's not pretty. i've overdressed for the weather and it's hot. i'm sweating.
terribly.
brow-beads grow at the base of my (recently receding) hairline and fall under their own weight. keeping cool and collected, confident, proves difficult under the tyrant rule of the hawaiian sun. i'm afraid i come off looking over-worked and pathetic. heavy, exhausted swells of confidence escape my lungs with every humid, tortured step forward in the baking sun. i stumble into the cool oasis of local shops, one after the other, for escape from the unseasonably warm weather. i've had better first days of school than whatever humiliation i might call this.
my sales pitch turns into a sloppy shlep of nonsense. i'm not collected. my focus drips down and pools at the base of my back from tributaries whose headwaters are at my mullet's base, clamming up against the back of my neck. i'm a mess.
the end of the day finds me drinking in the tales of a man calling himself billy who claims to have run the second largest printer on the mainland, grossing over $28 million annually. i do all but build him a fire and invite him in to drink in his tales of the wild west- printing for crazy artists, hundreds of employees, 8-color printing processes, the academy awards! he looks me over, takes in a slow, deliberate, sturdy breath and brings me near to him as he quietly confesses to me in that perfectly confident and underspoken way- you're barking up the wrong tree, kid. kauai's a dry market and this can't work.
i look him back right in the eye, smile, and shake his hand- pleased to have made your acquaintance.
little does he know, he's my first step.
the rest is cheese.
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